His pet

D/s Tagged with: , ,
Aug 212010

PG and I have been talking about the status of our relationship lately and  how things are going. It was about a year ago that we realized that our relationship was becoming more D/s based. Over the year, we’ve realized what works for us and what doesn’t. We created a ritual for when he comes over and before he leaves my place, which has really grown on us and helps us both shut the world out along other things.

We’ve been making casual references to him owning me but didn’t actually talk about it till last week. There are some challenges that we have, (what relationship doesn’t) such as balancing our relationship with other commitments and relationships. We wanted to classify our relationship with something that indicates ownership. That thought made me feel warm inside and it just felt right. For me, the word slave doesn’t sit right with me within my relationships. I love the times when I can be bratty, play fight and attempt to hold out but I also love the times where I’m obedient, do as I’m told and act the way he wishes me too.  We both love the free flowing nature of our relationship and our dynamic. The word pet came out of his mouth and it felt right.

Everyone has different definitions of what certain words mean but for us it means that there is that strong, loving connection and ownership in a fun, loving way. I still get to be bratty (sometimes), energetic, loving  and resistant. There is also the training and obedience aspects of it which we are exploring more and more. I am dedicated to our relationship and to him.  It allows the room for other possible relationships to grow and develop, which is important for us. Our definition will grow and change but it will be interesting to see where our relationship continues to leads us.

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A relationship technique

Relationships Tagged with: ,
May 292010

One of the session that I went to at Sex 2.0 was Kaye Porter “Off Road” Relationships. If you are ever able to see one of her workshops, I would recommend to go check it out. I got a lot out of the session and gave me things to think about in regards to my current relationships and future ones.

Trashcan by Benuski

One thing I found extremely relevant in my life is a concept she calls, hold the trash. The basic idea is to pretend you are holding a bag of trash and allow the person to get everything out without cutting in, offering advice or trying to help them at this point. All you need to do is simply ask them, “Is there anything else.” Depending on who you are doing it with, you can ask clarifying questions but you simply let the person unload.

There is a difference between using the above technique and unloading and seeking advice after. You should be specific about which one you need. Personally, I think this is a great technique. Sometimes I just need to unload, get it out and then I’m able to relax and continue on.

One example is when it comes to my day job, I typically don’t need advice from those outside of work. I like my day job but it can sometimes become too much depending on what the day has in store and what I have to see.  Before I went to the session, a co-worker and I used a similar technique to unload the stressful things that happen. It was perfect to be reminded of this and having it presented in a new light.

It would be great to be able to do this more, on both ends, to people that I’m close to in my life. I think it’s a great technique and allows people to unload when needed.

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Confirmation about hooking up

Relationships Tagged with: ,
May 212010

As most people know, I’m poly but PG and I have a special relationship. I know I’m allowed to play or date  anyone as long as if I’m safe both mentally and physically. I’m also allowed to pursue relationships of various kinds which he supports and encourages. Not to long ago, I decided that I wasn’t going to pursue anymore sexual or romantic relationships as I had a lot going on and needed time for myself. However, that time has past and if the opportunity came up and if the attraction is there, I would be interested.

On Thursday night, I was packing for Sex 2.0. I realized that PG and I haven’t talked about our sexual limits in a bit and got nervous. I’m not planning on anything in particular but you never know what will happen. After missed calls on both of our parts, I decided to send him an e-mail before I left just to make sure if something came up, if everything would be okay like we talked about before I took a break.

Luckily it was but it helped but my mind at ease. I was 80% sure it was going to be but sometimes that confirmation was just what I needed to relax and let this weekend flow.

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Birthday and Christmas

D/s, Defining moments, Relationships Tagged with: , ,
Dec 202009

This weekend was just what I needed. Friends, time with PG and even some relaxing.

I had a small early birthday celebration on Friday night. My birthday falls on the 29th which makes scheduling anything difficult because of Christmas and New Years. I kept it small  this year which was perfect. There was only 6 others and it was just the right size. After a delicious sushi dinner, we came back to my house for snacks, drinks, cake and play.

It was a fun evening and everyone got a chance to play too. Catching up, sharing, joy and laughs made it a perfect birthday.  Of course, I had to get my birthday spankings to end the night.

For Saturday, I cancelled my plans and took the day to relax and catch up on some needed tasks and rest.

Sunday was a magical day. It was PG and ours Christmas celebration. I’m leaving for Ontario on Christmas Eve and we wanted time to celebrate it together. After giving him his gift, he presented me with an envelope. I already knew what was in it but this would be my first time seeing it. After reading the card and the sweet words inside, I pulled out a braided leather collar. It was beautiful but even more was the meaning behind it.

Ever since our relationship has grown and expanded into D/s,  we talked about having a collar I could wear in public and to work that would symbolize our relationship. Before Christmas, we looked around and found a discreet one on-line. It’s made of leather with a back enclosure that requires a lock.

After PG put it on me, it felt right. It’s a symbol of our relationship and how much of a role it plays in our life. For the rest of the day, we spent it together and another surprised came up. A lot of our relationship has informal in terms of D/s but we are slowly making it more formal when it feels right. Over Christmas, on separate sides of the country, he is going to prepare some written rules and the corresponding discipline if they are not followed. I will contribute my thoughts and ideas on it as well. I’m looking forward to this as we work on making our relationship more formal. It feels right and has happen naturally.

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