An Unexpected Weekend

Everyday Life
May 052011

Friday was an interesting evening and it goes to show, sometimes throwing out the plans and just going with the flow leads to a great evening. We went to an art gallery that had some images from the great book, “I’ll Show You Mine.” You should really checked it out. Unfortunately, we had a negative experience with a man there and it turned into an aggressive situation when we asked him what he was filming the show for. His reaction was uncalled for and even when someone in charge came over, we didn’t feel safe or comfortable staying there as the man was giving us dirty looks and still aggressive. We headed out and decided to take a walk around downtown and had a great time. We stopped in at a cigar stop and even grabbed a cigar for later that weekend. At the end of the night, we discovered this cool, tattoo place. At first we weren’t sure what it was but they invited us in to take a look at the cool decor before we ended out for a drink and some appetizers.  The night ended up being saved by some great friends and exploring my hometown. Throwing the plan out the windows works sometimes.

A special dessert they made for me

The Saturday, I was lucky enough to win tickets to the Ready for Pleasure: Opt’s 50th Gala and Celebration for Options for Sexual Health.  They are a great non-profit that provides sexual education and clinic services in BC. I brought S as my date and we had a great time with a lovely dinner and entertainment which included a whisky tastings, burlesque, dancing and a chocolate foundation room.  It was a fun night and I ended up walking away with a 5 pack of Montecristco cigars.

Queen Elizabeth Park

Sunday morning was spent in bed which was needed as I’ve been pretty busy during the week and on the weekend. It turned out to be a beautiful day and my date day with PG was postponed as he was off kayaking. I decided I needed some fresh air and headed to Queen Elizabeth Park to get some exercise. I haven’t been there nearly as much as I should. It’s a beautiful city park to walk around but it is crowded on the weekend. I’ll have to bring lunch and a friend one time and take advantage of the park.

A bit of self play ended my Sunday night with fooling around with some rope.

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Easter Long Weekend

Everyday Life Tagged with: , ,
Apr 252011

Time has just flown by this month, I was immersed in two incentives and then came down with a bug that knocked me out for a bit. The first week of April was the Passionate Bonds Intensive, which I talked about in this post. I’m still so happy that I went and the knowledge that I gained is making PG and I feel so much closer. After I returned and a weekend rest, I went down to Max’s Bondage Intensive in Seattle. I’ll be writing about it in a separate entry but it was incredible. I went from learning the basics to suspending someone in one weekend. Granted, I don’t feel comfortable suspending someone now but it put me on the path and gave me the knowledge to keep practising and learning. It also confirmed that I want to learn more.

Once I got back, I started feeling ill and PG was just getting over catching a worse bug himself. It looked like I caught what he had so on Friday to be safe, we had to cancel our plans to attend the protocol dinner. It made me sad but PG reminded me that being sick and serving is not his ideal and wants me to be healthy when we go. Plus, I didn’t want to spread any germs either.

Swap Meet Scores

I volunteered to DM at Rascals on the Saturday and had wanted to go to the swap meet before. PG was really sweet and surprised me with rewards for 6 months of  quitting smoking. We got metal shackles, leather mittens and a rattan looped caned. He also scored an arm binder for himself, it smells wonderful and will be fun to play with. Everything was such a great deal and there was more stuff that we had to say no too. Rascals was fun, it was great seeing some friends and hanging out. I was able to wear the shackles around the dungeon for awhile and serve drinks while wearing them. It was a fun activity trying to balance two drinks with limited movement. I didn’t have much energy that night and decided not to do pick up play that night. Not that many people stayed to the very end which allowed PG and I cuddled up while watching the final scenes. The night ended perfectly with PG and I spending some time alone after bringing me home. Between travelling and him being sick, we have missed a lot of time together and was eager to reconnect.

During our walk

Sunday afternoon was rainy and chilly outside but we took PG dog and walked around Acadia Beach and Spanish Banks. It was lovely walking around and throwing rocks into the water for his dog but we were both eager to get back home and play. After a couple of hours and our heads damp, we headed back where I took a long, hot bath before PG returned.

I was told to be naked, shackles ready and my collar on. After greeting each other, he led me into the bedroom where we did some arm stretches before experimenting with the shackles and the different position they can go in. After being used, he put me on the bed, put my hands in the mittens and attached them to either side of the bed before sliding on the gas masks to conceal my sounds. After he was satisfied, he took our new rattan looped cane and hit my breast multiple times until they were burning red and throbbing. I think we got up to 100 before he let me rest. He wants me to increase my pain tolerance on them as we haven’t done a lot of heavy play with them recently. This and nipple clamps are a fun way to train them, all training should be this fun. After more intimate time, we blissfully rested in each other arms before pulling ourselves away for a chili dinner and chocolate. What a perfect way to spend a Sunday even with a stuffy nose and bruised breast today.

 

 

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Passionate Bonds SF 2011

BDSM, D/s, Events Tagged with: , , , , ,
Apr 092011

Last weekend was spent in San Francisco, I had a wonderful time both in the Passionate Bonds Intensive and seeing friends while exploring the city. I’m extremely happy that I made the trip down and it was worth every penny. The description from Midori website can be found on her website.

The description alone intrigued me but once I heard Dart’s Domain podcast, where he interviewed Midori and Laura Antoniou I was sold. I talked to PG and unfortunately he wasn’t able to make it but we realized it would benefit our relationship and my future ones if I went. I booked my ticket, hotel and made arrangements.

The weekend was full of learning new tools and skills, tough and challenging discussion and lots of work. It was a weekend of growth and knowledge for my relationship with PG, myself and for entering and negotiating  a future D/s relationship whether it’s for a weekend or long-term. It allowed me to define what I value, need and contribute and to put it on paper and examine it.

I’ve always know I was different and that my relationship with PG is unique. We don’t want to and can’t follow the “popular” protocols and the ways of acting. I love being bratty sometimes and play fighting which isn’t the way a “true submissive” acts or so I’ve been told. I also love serving him and being obedient, which isn’t that common to mix them both in. We needed to create our own protocols and coming to this weekend has given us the chance to start fresh and make sure the protocols we create work for us and produce that goofy smile. We created a unique mission statement for our relationship and all the protocols should serve that. I love the idea of having a mission statement and to review all these frequently. We have set up some protocols and started using them. Once we are confident in those, we want to create more. Our connect and desire is stronger. I’m considering making our own personal book with photos and text that would include our protocols, mission statement and transitional plans. We could print a new copy every year after reviewing it and updating it.

My fellow participates were incredible,  thank you! They opened up, shared and were great people to be around. I enjoyed working with them and being with them for this journey. Parts of the workshop were really hard. PG and I have already discussed what was to happen in case one of us died so when that discussion came up, I was prepared and ready to talk about it. It wasn’t as much of a  shock talking about it as the first time we did. I still remember how upset and how many tears came out of me with just the thought. It makes it easier to talk about it in advance but it’s an incredibly hard process. We first talked about it over two years ago due to our age difference and my near death experiences.

There was so much that we learned that this post could have been thousands of words however I would encourage you to go if they have another one. It’s for anyone who doesn’t want protocols just handed to them from a website, who appreciates and cherishes uniqueness and who wants an authentic, quality and hot D/s relationship. Oh and the connection, sex and play has increased when I already thought it was at the peak.

Thank you Laura and Midori for doing this intensive and asking those pesky questions.  You gave us all something that we need and thank you for sharing your skills, knowledge and yourselves.

 

 

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Event: What is Polyamory? Panel Discussion in Vancouver, BC

Events Tagged with:
Apr 072011

The “What is Polyamory? Panel Discussion in Vancouver, BC.”  is happening Monday, April 11, 2011 from 7pm-9pm at The Junction Pub at 1138 Davie Street, Vancouver, B.C. From Vanpoly, “Polyamorists practice a new form of ethical and principled non-monogamy which requires the informed knowledge and consent of all genders and practices gender equality. Polyamorous relationships can include a variety of gender combinations and sexual orientations.

This forum will provide polyamorists and those who are curious about Polyamory with an opportunity to discuss the benefits and challenges of this …growing approach to consensual multiple person relationships.
Panelists include Janet W. Hardy, Terisa Greenan, John Ince and Kiki Christie.

-Guests must be 19 years+
-Free event though donations in support of the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association joyfully accepted.”

Some of my friends and I will be going. If you are interested in learning more, the flyer is below.

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Leaving for San Francisco

D/s Tagged with: ,
Mar 302011

I have a lot of fond memories on Sundays, it is one of PG and mine date days. We started our Sunday date day last weekend by cuddling up and talking about our relationship. We discussed and thought about our different rules and protocols as this was our last uninterrupted time before I headed to Passionate Bonds in San Francisco. Since I would be going by myself, we have been talking a lot and we set up checkins and talking times for when I’m away to catch up and discussion what has been going on.

After talking and discussion, we were both getting turned on and decided to play for a bit. PG tied me in a box tie with my hands behind my back to make me helpless. After I was secured and couldn’t defend myself, a gas mask was put on my head to hinder my breathing.  He also put the collar on me, that completely changes my headspace. I become obedient and if I did want to try to break the rules, I would be punished severely.

He loved the fact that my hands were behind me and started torturing my breast with his hands until he picked up the sharp fid and scraped me, bite me and gave me a couple of hickies before taking the Hitachi and giving me a mind-blowing orgasms. It was a perfect afternoon and everything flowed so well. We were both in a happy place afterwards and our connection felt stronger.

I’ll be away for a long weekend but will have plenty of fun stories to share including going to Fist Full of Film, Alcatraz, Japanese Spa and the intensive itself.

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“It’s in you to give” Donating Blood

Everyday Life Tagged with:
Mar 242011

Last week Friday, I donated blood and unfortunately I reacted to the cleaning solution used and was recovering for the majority of the weekend and the beginning of the week. I still have the reaction but it’s slowly going away. Don’t worry, if you have never given blood this is extremely uncommon. I just happened to  have a reaction to the medical skin cleaner they use.

I wasn’t going to post about it except for on twitter but events the past couple of days reminded me just how much they need blood. If you can donate, please do. I know the restrictions on who can donate could be vastly improved and I don’t agree with all of them however we all will need blood or know someone who does. If you are in Vancouver, I’m donating blood in May. You can send me a message if you want someone to go with and we can co-ordinate.

I know it’s a PSA and we get them all the time but it is  important to me. Now that my iron level is acceptable, I’m planning on donating on a regular basis. I found  a fun, interesting thing about my blood type:

 

45% of Canadians have type O blood. Group O blood is like no other and can only receive blood from other people who are group O.

One unit of your blood can help save up to three lives, and we know that giving blood is in your nature.

In addition to your tendency towards romanticism, an aptitude for writing and a love of hearty eating and exercise, here are a few other things you should know about being an O:

Personality Career Health
Business-minded Accountant Seafood or red meat
Clear-sighted Caterer Vegetables
Respectful Businessperson Vigorous aerobic excercise

From the Canadian Blood Services website.

Now back to your regular, kinky lives.

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GrUE weekend

Events, GrUE Tagged with: , ,
Mar 152011

The Vancouver GrUE officially started on the Friday night with a meet and greet at the local pool hall. It was a great way to start to the weekend and allowed me to  meet people who I didn’t know and to catch up with friends. I was surprised at how easy it was to put myself out there and introduce myself to everyone. I can be shy but hosting made it a lot easier to just go up and talk to people who I just met. I hope I can take more of that away for other events. Apparently,  some people never saw me in this type of light and compared it to red sparkles instead of green. I think you have to know me to understand that, smile. It was a great success but I made sure to call it an early night as I knew I would need my energy for the next day.

The unconference began with doors opening at 9am after we arrived at 8am to start set up which went smoothly.  If you haven’t been to a GrUE yet, the principles are:

  • Whoever shows up are the right people
  • Whenever a class starts is the right time
  • When it’s over, it’s over.
  • Whatever happens is the only thing that could have

You can read more about the structure on Graydancer’s post, “The Care and Feeding of a GrUE.” There is also the law of two feet which basically is, if you aren’t contributing or getting anything out of what you are doing, take you two feet elsewhere.  The day started off with gathering together as Gray outlined the day and explained the principles. Before long, everyone was heading up to the front to write down what they wanted to teach or learn. Before we knew it there was a larger number of classes written on the white sheets of paper.

The classes  were:

  • Dramatic Suspension Cut-Down Experiment
  • Domestic D/s & the Art of Submission
  • Nice People, Nasty thoughts: Anti-Oppression & KINK!
  • Building Your Community
  • Somerville Bowline
  • History of Erotic Slavery, followed by
  • Slavery? BDSM Model/Language: social injustice vs. hot fantasy
  • The Not-Going-Anywhere Hair Tie
  • Kinky College: A Model for Community Education
  • Pressure Points.
  • Teaching Rope & Other Kinky Things (not taught on Saturday but on Sunday)
  • Playing with the Force (energy play)
  • Verbal Humiliation Play
  • N.O.O.C.K.I.E: Reducing Risk in the Community thru Sexy Exercise
  • Passionate Pussy Pleasure & Advanced Vaginal Play
  • Active Bottoming (not taught)
  • Discussion for partners of gender-fluid individuals (advice, questions)
  • Basic Leather Care
  • Sub-Clavian & the Scalenes Play the Brachial Plexus: Making Chest Ties More Comfy (or not, using pressure points)
  • Negotiation Roundtable: How do you do it? Want it? Even if you’re an introverted geek?
  • Foreskin Anatomy & the Male Multiple Orgasm (with video presentation)
  • Starting Up With Single Tails: From Buying to Florentine
  • Chain Bondage
  • Adjusting Play for Physical/Mental Limits (not taught)
  • Invisible Disabilities & BDSM/Kink: Developing a Tangible, Practical Tool for Discussing Access/Negotiating (not taught)
  • Simple Hip Harness leading into
  • Dirty Takedown Tricks
  • Water Bondage
  • Being Japanese: Incorporating Japanese Aesthetics & Spirituality in BDSM Play
  • The Taut-Line Hitch Hands-On Workshop
  • Tea Time with Tillie & Friends

I was able to catch bits and pieces of most of the discussions and workshops but I was also making sure everything was going smoothly and had my eyes all over the room. I did get a chance to bottom for PG water bondage workshop, which was fun. It was interesting though as usually when I demo, I can let myself go a bit but I had to fight it. One of the harder things about organizing was just keeping my hands in my pockets and let things happen the way it’s meant to. I loved the discussions and workshops that I got to saw and heard great things about them. Lunch was a success and everyone seemed to have a great time. I wish I could have wrote more but the day was a blur and it went by so fast. It took a lot out of me but in a positive way.

The day ended with the closing circle. It was a perfect way to close the space and what we shared there. We went around the circle and shared something about the day whether it was a thank you, something we learned etc. It was touching and emotional as making this happen took a lot of energy and hearing all the positive feedback hit me hard. I’m looking forward to reading the notes about what people said again. After cleaning up a bit, a quiet dinner was needed with a small group.

The party that night was MVK and as usual they did a great job. There was extra energy with the GrUE and I was able to catch up with people for a bit before finding a seat and able to talk with some of my friends for the remainder of the night while watching some hot play. I decided not to make play dates for that evening as I wasn’t sure if I would have the energy but sitting and talking fit with how I was feeling.

Sunday morning was cheap ass pancakes. I was engaged in the kitchen most of the time but it was yummy. It was nice hanging out in the kitchen in a quieter area and make sure people got the food they needed and fun conversations were had. The bacon was a hit and it didn’t last for a couple of seconds without it flying off the plate. It seemed everyone had a great time and when I took forced breaks, it seemed like people were engaged in deep, meaningful conversation. The winner of  the GRUEvy Award went to River, who is a local presenter that we all appreciate. We were also able to donate a small amount to Options for Sexual Health,which is an organization I fully support and MVK. Saying goodbyes was tough as it’s great to be surrounded by everyone for the weekend and people who you wish you could spend more time with.

After the breakfast, a smaller group of us went to a park for cigars which was needed more than I thought, it was nice to be able to relax for the first time this weekend and simply enjoy a fine cuban and great company. A mindless action movie followed before picking up food for a trip to an island.

That’s my summary of the Vancouver GrUE. It was wonderful, exhausted and I’m looking forward to doing it again in 2012. Another big thank you for Gray, PG, Tillie, Tori and Sonia  for everything.

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Eaten by a GrUE

Events, GrUE Tagged with: , ,
Mar 142011

Wow, I’ve been busy but I’m finally writing now.

I’m fully recovered after being eaten and then lovingly spit out by the Vancouver GrUE. The event was a huge success but it drained me in a way that I’ve never experienced before. This was my first time organizing something like this and being the way I am, I took a lot of it on myself. It was a fantastic event and the feedback has been overwhelming positive. I had to fight back the tears during the closing circle and from some of the messages I received. Would I do it again?  I’m already planning on having a Van GrUE 2 next year.

Waiting for the chair lift

Taking off a week from work was the way to go. After a bit of a scare at the airport dealing with customs, Gray flew in late Wednesday night and by the time we got back to my place, I was exhausted. I couldn’t go to bed without a tour of my small place and some MacAllans though. Thursday was planned as a relaxing and showing him around Vancouver day. After catching up and finalizing some GrUE details, we were off to get some Cubans cigars. Before this weekend, I’ve only had one before and it was lovely. However, my experience is limited. Luckily, we had a gorgeous female advising us on our options. I think even if I was more knowledge, I would have just let her keep talking. After stopping off at my favourite GF pizza place,  we were off to find the Lynn Canyon suspension bridge. We couldn’t find it but had a lovely drive in the forest after a google map fail and my GPS not working (I’m a transit or walking girl usually). We ended up writing that off and headed right to Grouse Mountain.

Grouse Mountain has one of the best city views, on a clear night. By the time we drove to the chair lift, it was starting to snow up there. After getting up the lift though, we could hardly see anything but snow except for a couple of views and the trees below. For the Toronto area being my hometown for just under 20 years, I’m still amazed by how excited I get by snow. We tend to enjoy it on the mountains here but not in the city. Even without the clear view, it was beautiful up there and after a bit of a power scare, we were able to enjoy drinks and dessert by the window and fire. It was a fun day and being able to relax before the weekend was welcomed.

The Friday, the morning of the meet and greet was a busy day of errands. Cupcakes had to be picked up but happily T joined us for some tacos and our big grocery trip for everything that we would need for the weekend. It was fun catching up with her before the weekend started and we were able to check out some of my favourite fetish stores in Vancouver. After shopping, the rest of the afternoon was spent relaxing and watching Gray and T record an interview for the Ropecast before the meet and greet.

The next entry I’m dedicating all to the Vancouver GrUE. I promise that it won’t take nearly as long as this one.

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Heading to Passionate Bonds soon

D/s Tagged with:
Feb 272011

Things have been a bit hectic to say the least in my life. It seemed like almost everyday is being filled with something that had to be done, lots of good but necessary things. A couple of nights ago, PG and I both needed us time though.  After a false report of snow and a delicious home cooked meal, we cuddled up to listen to Dart’s Domain podcast on Passionate Bonds.

I’ve heard about the weekend but didn’t know too much about it as it wasn’t something that I was ready for at the time. However, after I saw the title line appear on my IPod, I downloaded it and started listening to it at work. It was capturing something in me but something told me to wait till later that day and listen to it with PG. The podcast provided a lot of information about the weekend and the idea of spending a whole weekend immersed in thinking, processing and learning more about myself, my relationship PG and future D/s relationships appealed to me and hit me hard. I guess the time was right and fortunately San Francisco is just a short plane ride away.

PG and I both want to expand and grow our relationship as Owner and pet but I think we are getting a bit lost in how we should do it in a way that works for us. The key thing is making it a natural part of our life while remembering other commitments and relationships. We need to find ways that will make it fit into our lives but be special and able to create our own little world easier. In addition, it sounds like this weekend is a weekend of growth, not just for the relationship but as an individual.

I’m looking forward to what sounds to be like a great weekend that will probably wipe me out. After the GrUE, PG and I will spend a fair amount of time discussing as I’ll be going solo to San Francisco. If you do want to read more, you can see the Passionate Bond website, it sounds like a special intensive.

 

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A new Ropecast is up

Blogging/Bloggers Tagged with: , , ,
Feb 242011

A new Ropecast is up, checked out the latest episode featuring an interview with me talking about myself and the Vancouver GrUE. Gray and DoNotGoGently also answers, “What do Doms Want?”.

It was my first time being interview and at first I was nervous but it became easier after the first quarter. I realized I forgot to talk about dunking in regards to water bondage. As well, I forgot to include a bit about my kink life when I first arrived in Vancouver till I attended my first Rope and Grope. However, that could of taken a couple of hours :) It’s odd listening to yourself but I’m sure you get use to it.

If you haven’t heard of the Ropecast, check out the latest episode and work your way back.

 

 

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