Among Our Own Kink by PG

Writings by PG Tagged with:
Dec 042010

A lovely post by PG:

I had lunch with a co-worker again the other day. She’s a fellow kinkster, though she and I have never played together (and may well never do so, given that she’s a het Top, and so am I – which means I wouldn’t be into co-beating her male bottoms, nor would she want to help “tag team” my female subjects.) Still, we enjoy each other’s company, laugh a great deal and talk lots. And not always about kink. The nice thing about being about being with fellow deves is not having to run the “Pervental Control Filter” software on our mouths. The conversation is free to wander back and forth between Vanillasville and Sodom and/or Gomorrah. You can casually mention that the new bed you bought is not only comfy but has lots of anchor points without fear your entree will get cold as you have do the  Heimlich manoeuvre on your dining companion.

I’ve had conversations about this with gay friends who’ve experienced the same sort of thing – loving not having to hold back when they’re among their own. I can very much relate. To be among your own socially is like unlacing a pair of dress shoes and slipping into a set of comfy loafers. Ironic, given that many of us so love tight things.

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The UN of Kink

Writings by PG Tagged with: ,
Jul 242009

By PG

One of the many cool things about kink is getting to connect with people you might not otherwise meet. Over the years, I’ve learnt brat play from bull dykes, and taught nipple play to gay leathermen. Not bad for a het male Top. I’ve talked at length to people transitioning from male to female, and to folks going the other way on that street. It’s made me realize just how many of our concepts about what it is to be a man or woman are unexamined social constructs having more to do with behaviour than biology.

I visualize these connections as a Venn diagram – each of the orientations has its own circle, but those circles overlap in our shared interests of rubber, leather, bondage, and/or D/s.

Two examples come to mind:

In one instance, I was approached by a female sub at a play party, with a request to give me boot service. I knew this woman to be exclusively gay. Of her own volition, she would never have chosen to be submissive to a man. Making her do so was in fact a test of her submission to her female Top. So I was being used. But I was good with that, since I knew the Top involved (and because, unbeknownst to her sub, the Top had negotiated sending her sub over with me beforehand). Call it Top-to-Top courtesy. As the sub was shining my boots, my eyes met those of the female Top across the room, and we shared a smile. It was an understanding across genders and orientations I don’t think could have happened any other way.

On another occasion, a bi female sub I’d played with before had set up her dream scene, with me and a dyke she was dating tag-team topping her. This other woman was not your slanderously stereotyped man-hating lesbian. But it would be fair to say she was not at ease around most men. The scene started off slowly, both of us Tops tentative as we took each other’s measure. But it warmed up as the bottom, facing downward and oblivious to the initial tension between the Tops, began gasping and arching in response to our attentions. And then suddenly, like a wall shattering, the barrier was gone. We grinned at one another, knowing we were working well as a team, her at the bottom’s head, tormenting her breasts, me at the other end, reddening her ass. The bottom’s body formed a bridge between us, connecting the three of us. It was all I could do not to break out into a chorus of “We are the world…”

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The Consolation Of Pervery

Relationships, Writings by PG Tagged with: ,
Feb 032009

(with apologies to Boethius)

Written by PG:

Like so many human pursuits, kink can serve multiple purposes and carry multiple meanings. It can be purely sexual. It can have no sexual freight at all. It can convey respect. It can be solace. It can communicate sympathy. It can offer healing.

Some years back, a close friend in the scene lost his wife of several decades to cancer. I, along with dozens of other kinksters, attended her funeral. (We caused a few raised eyebrows from her banking co-workers who were also there. The wife had always accepted her husband’s kinkiness, but hadn’t been kinky herself).

About a week later, this friend came to a public kink event. Together with several other of his fellow perves, I thrashed him hard as he lay on a padded table. Now I’m a het male Top, so it clearly wasn’t sexual, at least for me. But it was deeply emotional and deeply meaningful. Unlike my typical scenes, this one was respectfully silent. Those of us who were not thrashing my friend were holding him, touching him, gently caressing him. It was an instinctive ritual we made up on the spot, to acknowledge his grief and to help drive it away, however temporarily.

About a year ago, Alpine and I played with a couple we both know and love (we’re looking at you A & L!) The scene involved me doing water bondage with L, the female half of the couple. But prior to doing that, I bound A & Alpine together, to keep them out of mischief. A is a bi male, so it was sexual for him to be bound by me. Not so for me, but again, it was rewarding and meaningful. It was a way of acknowledging the primacy of his relationship with L, instead of simply playing with her and ignoring him. It was a way of helping them strengthen their own ties.

In her last posting Alpine mentioned an injury she’s suffered. She and I are both grieved and stressed by it. We are accustomed to taking a fierce delight in one another, with her resisting me aggressively and me taking her just as insistently. This injury makes that impossible for the moment. We’re having to learn new ways of play. I tailor what I do to her now to maximize endorphin release for her while minimizing movement on her part. So it’s kink for alleviating pain as well as inflicting it.

In the years Alpine and I have known one another, we’ve weathered many crises; we will weather this one. The ties that bind us together are stronger than any rope or chain could ever be.

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Reflections on Water Bondage

Writings by PG Tagged with: , ,
Jan 112009

Written by PG:

(A caveat: water bondage, like any form of breath control kink, involves real risks. This post, and the last one I wrote on the subject, are descriptions, not instructions. Reading them no more prepares you to do water bondage than reading a book about someone else’s adventures on Everest prepares you to go mountaineering. Before attempting this sort of thing, research it thoroughly. The Top should have first aid training, and should refresh themselves on the protocols for dealing with near drowning. And you need to have a plan for if the bottom experiences trouble: are you big enough to get them out of the water instantly, or do you have a way to drain the water away very quickly?)

So what makes water bondage so hot? For me, it’s a couple of seemingly contradictory things.

First, it’s extreme. Stopping someone from breathing is a thing you would do in no other situation except with intent to kill. In water bondage, it’s only with intent to thrill. The bottom is literally trusting you with their life. In regular bondage, you decide how much or how little the bottom will move. In water bondage, you decide when — and even whether — the bottom will breathe. Like a lot of kink, it’s about breaking taboos. It’s intense, it’s deep, it’s dark.

At the same time, there’s a sweetness and an innocence to water bondage. It’s summertime at the beach when you were young. It’s bath time when you were little. For the bottom, it’s being helpless, yet perfectly safe, held by someone you trust. You can just let body and mind float free, not having to worry or take responsibility, because someone else is taking care of you. And if they wash you repeatedly on your naughty bits with hands and/or high-pressure hoses, it’s not your fault, because you’re not a bad girl. It’s those nasty ropes that stop you from shielding yourself.

So the dynamics of water bondage sessions can range from high-adrenaline kidnapping/torture scenarios to loving interludes with just you and your partner, where the rest of the world, for a little while at least, ceases to exist. And the really wonderful thing is that a single session can encompass both those extremes, like a piece of classical music starts out all Sturm und Drang, then melts into a soft, romantic melody. And you, as the Top, have the power and the privilege of orchestrating that piece, monitoring your bottom’s reactions, using that feedback to adjust the length of this note or that to create and eventually release tension, using the bottom’s own body as the primary instrument. You will never have a more rapt audience.

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Good clean dirty fun

Writings by PG Tagged with: , , ,
Jan 042009

Written by PG:

As Alpine’s primary play partner, I’ve contributed some quotes to some of her previous postings. I’m flattered she’s asked me to do a full guest post, and that’s she’s given me carte blanche to pick my topic. So let’s talk water bondage. I was first introduced to the idea by seeing a Gwen Media video given to me by another bi subby gal I used to play with. She’d been into it mainly because it featured lots of lovely ladies in lovely latex, but there was one scene in it that caught my eye (along with another organ). In this scene, the cruel mistress has her two female bottoms, hands bound behind their backs, kneeling at either end of a transparent plastic tub filled with water. Over the course of the scene, each bottom had their head held underwater ’til they were thrashing, and came up with water streaming down their faces and gasping for breath. My reaction was: that’s so sick, so wrong… so hot.

Over the years, Alpine and I have re-enacted this scene in private play many times. But I like to constantly surprise her when we play in public. So at a public play party a while back, I ambushed her with water bondage. I’d smuggled the tub in hidden in my oversize play bag (which I believe Alpine’s written about elsewhere.) And, since it involved a form of breath control, I’d precleared the scene with the Dungeon Monitors.

I put wrist cuffs on Alpine, and clipped them to a leather belt around her waist. I had her kneel, blindfolded her, locked a collar ’round her neck, and padlocked a chain from the collar to the frame we were playing under. I had a bi-switch female friend of ours, Mistress D, watch Alpine while I spread out a plastic tarp, then snuck off to fill the tub. This took a while, which helped build the tension for Alpine, who had to kneel, not knowing what was coming and being teased by Mistress D.

When I did return, I grabbed Alpine’s hair, and pulled her forward on her knees to just in front of the tub. “You remember how to hold your breath, don’t you?” I demanded. “Yes…” she responded, uncertainly. “Hold it now!” I commanded, and thrust her head under the surface. I held it there until I could see the involuntary struggle to raise her head begin, then lifted it just long enough to let her catch one quick breath before dunking her again. As they advise on shampoo bottles, I rinsed and repeated this process as needed (for me).

After a good long bit of this, it was time to up the game. Through regular play together, Alpine and I have thoroughly “skinnered” her pussy. (Google “B. F. Skinner” if you want more background.) That is, we’ve trained Alpine to cum on verbal command or in response to a physical stimulus. This stimulus is usually a slap to her face, but I can direct her to rewire that and cum to other cues. So I told her she was to cum when I slapped her ass. I then dunked her head, and gave her a good hard hand on her pretty butt. It was so entertaining watching her cum while not able to inhale that I repeated the process over and over again. Then we had Mistress D join in to help tag-team Alpine. The two of us took turns dunking her and spanking her to cums until she was deeply, deeply in sub space. Then we had her worship our boots (both Mistress D and I were wearing hot footwear well worthy of worship.) We also got in a few good kicks at Alpine (how to kick some one hard but safely is something I’ve learned from my dyke friends in the scene.)

As a finale, we had her on her knees, straddling our boots one by one, and polishing them with her juices, while face-slapping her to more cums.

We then took our delightfully addled bottom, dried her off, and led her to the cuddle area for some well-deserved aftercare.

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